You never run out of kindness. When you're kind to yourself & others, your own capacity to love can only grow.

Wherever there is a human being there's an opportunity for kindness.

Seneca

Harold Kushner so beautifully says in his book Living a Life That Matters that the reassurance that his life has mattered & wasn't lived in vain comes from how he lived his life & what he gave to others.

"I find it in the work I have done, the acts of kindness I have performed, the love I have given & the love I have received, the people who will smile when they remember me & the children & grandchildren through whom my name & memory will be perpetuated."

After years of talking with people who were dying, he tells us that people aren't afraid of dying; they're afraid they haven't lived. Were they as loving & kind as they could've been? How will their family remember them?

A simple act of kindness is within the spirit of all of us. No matter how you've lived your life there's kindness within you, because you are born kind & loving. It's your natural state & the more you awaken to it, the more in harmony you're with yourself & others & the more peaceful life is.

We asked MJ Ryan, compiling editor of the best selling book Random Acts of Kindness & author of books on Gratitude (Attitudes of Gratitude) & Generosity (The Giving Heart), what's the connection between each of these qualities?

She describes Gratitude as the 'in-breath.' As you live life present to all you have, you're able to fill up & be aware of a deep sense of abundance. Just because you receive something doesn't mean you will necessarily feel abundance.

It only occurs when you're consciously present to all that you have. That's why simply starting your day with conscious thoughts of gratitude fills you up, creating a natural high.

It's from this sense of abundance, this fullness, that you're able to express your generosity with acts of kindness. That's the 'out-breath,' & it's so automatic it just pours out of you.

This feeling of abundance overflows & touches each & every person you come in contact with. But the key is this:

You must feel it first. You must be loving, forgiving, kind & compassionate toward yourself, or you'll not sense abundance. You will feel depletion & be operating out of obligation, not true kindness.

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you lived-that is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kindness is a Peaceful Way as it expands your own capacity to love with each & every act of kindness shown. Imagine, if you will, every unkind word you've said in your life as well as all those others have said.

Now imagine a world where the unkind words have been replaced with kind words & kind acts. What would the world be like?

Our vision of such a world would include relationships based on mutual love & respect; all children being nurtured & encouraged to reach their full potential; ready access to bountiful harvests & life-saving medical treatment for all people; profound respect for the needs of all cultures & the wishes they've had for their lives, families & communities; all of us living in harmonious cooperation.

Why? Because when we're all steeped in loving kindness, we'll have it no other way.

These positive qualities should be like the life force within us, like the mind in a living being. A body without a mind, or a life force, wouldn't be able to perform actions like a real human being. Instead, it would be only an empty reflection or effigy. In the same way, spiritual practice without the core practice of loving-kindness & compassion could only be a parody of genuine spirituality.

Unenlightened beings suffer continuously from the neuroses of attachment, aggression & ignorance. These emotional upheavals develop because of a lack of compassion, kindness & open concern for the well-being of others. Lacking such positive attitudes & feelings, we continually indulge ourselves, developing these three mental poisons further & thus bring added suffering & confusion to ourselves & others alike.

Conversely, a person who has fully integrated loving-kindness & compassion has transcended the 3 poisons. For such a kind, gentle & compassionate person, the upheaval of aggression has ceased. Gentleness & compassion can't coexist w/aggression & hatred toward others.

Therefore, in treading on the Buddhist path toward the experience of enlightenment, the essential basis of development for both beginners & advanced practitioners is the practice of loving-kindness & compassion.

Without the basic ground of the qualities of loving-kindness & compassion, the Vajrayana wouldn't exist. It simply wouldn't make any sense without a genuine practice & ongoing experience of loving-kindness & compassion towards all beings. In addition, the bodhisattva vow couldn't be taken without a sincere commitment to generate such an attitude.

The enlightened bodhisattva attitude embodies the complete letting go of oneself for the benefit & enlightenment of all sentient beings, without exception. Without this attitude, therefore, there wouldn't be much use in taking the vow. It would be meaningless - just another label, a label that is as laughable as a blind man claiming to have good vision. Such a person would be ridiculed, or else pitied for his stupidity.

Therefore, the bodhisattva vow is to be taken with a sincere concern for the benefit of all sentient beings. Having taken the vow & developed loving-kindness & compassion, the 3 mental poisons are transcended because there's no room for aggression & hatred when the mind is filled with these qualities.

With the realization of the importance of these two supreme qualities & the desire to benefit all beings, great clarity & understanding develop. That clarity & understanding is itself the transcendence of ignorance, attachment & passion - all of which arise because of the insatiable thirst for selfish attainment & success. Whoever has given priority to benefiting all beings is able gradually to let go of such negative patterns.

For all these reasons, a sincere & proper understanding of loving-kindness & compassion is very important. Having that understanding & an appreciation of the need to integrate these qualities into daily practice, you'll experience frequent moments of leisure & calmness when you can take advantage, as a beginner, of the opportunity to practice loving-kindness & compassion.

In this way, the gradual integration of these qualities comes about, so that in times of frustration, fear & aggression, you are able to transform the situation.

On the other hand, if we do not realize the practice of loving-kindness & compassion, then when the need arises - for example, when the experience of fear or aggression suddenly occurs - it'll be very difficult to achieve a state of gentleness & compassion because of the intensity of our habitual mental patterns.

Trying to experience a state of gentleness in those circumstances might even increase the frustration & confusion, due to the intensity of the upheaval.

Through the noble practice of loving-kindness & compassion, we can develop a very open relationship toward all beings. Such a relationship is one of respect, based on the idea that no matter what disparities may exist between different categories of beings, such as human beings, animals, or whatever, they all have equal capacities.

Thus the practitioner tries to develop equal concern for them all. The mere sight of any living being - whether tiny or huge, whether our own kind or a different species - will arouse the feeling of gentleness & kindness. This is a very powerful feeling; in fact, it's the gateway to the experience of the perfect state of enlightenment.

Having developed such kindness, gentleness & openness of mind toward all beings, it's possible to genuinely feel the needs of others. A very true & honest concern for beings develops. Then, if at times a certain being projects aggression or hatred, the gentleness & kindness we have developed will help us feel & express an even stronger sense of compassion & gentleness.

This is due to the understanding that in the past we have been caught up in the experience of samsara precisely because of the lack of such qualities of gentleness & loving-kindness.

In addition, developing further aggression & ignorance in the present is only going to cause further suffering & entrapment in cyclic existence. If we can't have a loving, kind & compassionate attitude toward all beings, if we can't experience tenderness & gentleness toward all beings, there is no purpose in life.

Further, there's no purpose in being connected with the Dharma.

The very purpose of the Dharma is to develop & integrate the practice of loving kindness & compassion. In doing so, we not only benefit ourselves, but others at the same time. Practicing & integrating these qualities brings about the possibility of the enlightening situation of openness & an experience of ongoing happiness within this lifetime; thus, there is a tremendous need to develop these qualities.

People experience depression, confusion & frustration because they make all kinds of categorizations. When we are with certain beings who have greater success than we do, a feeling of inferiority can arise. Evaluating things from this mundane point of view can give rise to a sense of jealousy, accompanied by a desire to inflict harm. Envy can grow in our minds, causing all kinds of frustration & confusion.

Another situation can arise when everyone in a particular society belongs to the same class & is on an equal level: this can give rise to feelings of competition, of wanting to dominate others or to be better than others. Such wishes usually result in failure & once again we are overcome by anger, frustration, depression & hatred & all kinds of neurotic projections take place.

Then there are other times when we are with people & feel they are completely incapable, or at least that they are less capable than we are. In comparing ourselves with these beings, we feel they do not have this or that ability; we feel they are somehow lacking. This gives rise to feelings of superiority & then there is the sense of wanting to neglect or overlook such people.

If we have integrated loving-kindness & compassion, no matter what type of beings we are with & must adjust to, a sense of joyfulness & happiness will be present. There will be openness & communication & a sense of well-being toward other people. Other people can feel this & relate to us accordingly.

In the same way, if we are in a situation where everyone is basically equal, a feeling of support for each other will grow, along with the wish that these people will become more successful, more comfortable & happier in their life situations & relationships. Thus we create a situation of openness & communication & we are able to concern ourselves with benefiting others who are less capable by helping, supporting & encouraging them.

With that kind of relationship, everyone feels respected & trusted & can rejoice in each others' progress. There is an experience of openness, happiness & gentleness in all kinds of relationships, such as within families, between husband & wife or parents & children, & among relatives & friends. All kinds of relationships will have these positive possibilities.

In contrast, the most destructive thing in our lives, the perpetual experience of great suffering, is brought about by our own egocentric clinging to selfish & insatiable pursuits. As long as this situation exists in our lives, it's inseparable from aggression. Clinging to ourselves & devoting all efforts to ourselves continually gives rise to aggression & perpetuates samsara's endless suffering.

The transcendence of this suffering is possible only through the antidote of loving-kindness & compassion. Without these qualities, all kinds of destructive situations & suffering come about, because we have tremendous expectations.

For example, we have expectations that we should be respected, arising from the selfish feeling that we are somehow the greatest person & therefore, should be looked up to. We also have expectations that we should not be harmed in any way.

We also have very unrealistic attitudes about others living up to our expectations. When these are not met, trouble develops between husband & wife, among relatives & between friends. Each of us believes that our wishes, our needs & our notions of what is good must be respected by everyone else.

Even though we may talk a lot about loving-kindness, inside we are still going through the same difficulties & experiencing the same suffering. If we really have a sincere experience of loving kindness & compassion toward others, we no longer need to say things like, "I have to work on my anger," "I have to work on my aggression," or "I have to work on my egotism.

The feeling of loving-kindness itself liberates our egocentric notions & the other neurotic patterns that arise.

It should be very clear that the experience of relative & ultimate happiness within this lifetime, as well as in future lifetimes, is dependent upon our practice & integration of loving-kindness & compassion now. A total dedication to the benefit of others is essential.

This precious human birth isn't obtained by chance, nor will it be obtained by chance in the future. Right now we are in the fortunate situation of being able to live happily in this life & to accumulate the seeds of future happiness. Now is the time when loving-kindness & compassion can be developed, progressively leading to more & more benefit to more & more beings.

Such a possibility depends on our practice right now, within this particular lifetime. If we have no practice of loving-kindness & compassion, then even if we had the opportunity to teach a gathering of people, we might feel tremendous aggression toward that group.

Such feelings of opposition or unfriendliness would lead to the desire to control others, to have power over them, which is the cause of harm & destruction. We can clearly see around us these days how such attitudes bring tremendous harm to us & to others & bring about many hopeless situations.

Only the sincere development of loving-kindness & compassion can prevent or transform such situations. It enables others to live respectable & dignified lives, bringing them, as well as us, both relative & ultimate happiness.

In thinking about these qualities, we also need to take into consideration the factor of karmic conditioning. When we are at the edge of a cliff, it is possible to be very careful & avoid falling off. But if we haven't developed the ability to be careful & mindful, when we fall off the edge it is useless to start wishing for wings.

In the same fashion, what we will experience in the future definitely depends on how we live our lives. If we practice loving-kindness & compassion sincerely & fully for the benefit of others, then in the future not even a very powerful being can prevent us from experiencing further happiness & well-being.

Even if we have the notion that we really don't want to experience such happiness, it would still come about. On the other hand, if all we have done is accumulate the causes of further suffering, then at the moment when we are on the verge of experiencing such suffering & confusion, there is no chance to be wise, no chance to think twice about our past behavior.

It's truly pathetic to see beings who sincerely want to experience happiness & well-being acting at the same time in ways that will bring them every imaginable kind of suffering, pain & destruction (both physical & mental), not only in this lifetime but in lifetimes to come. This is the epitome of confusion & bewilderment.

It's heartbreaking to see beings who desire happiness & well-being, who even desire the experience of liberation & enlightenment, doing the very things that totally prevent the possibility of such an experience. Such people are totally bewildered & confused. This is not to say that they're so ignorant they wouldn't know how to eat, that they would use a hat for their feet or put their shoes on their head, but karmically it's a similar situation.

As practitioners of the Dharma, we can't ignore the state of confusion & bewilderment beings are going through. It's so obvious that we can't ignore it. We also can't afford to continue committing such actions of confusion & bewilderment ourselves, because the nature of the situation is so clearly obvious. It's not a myth or a legend, not a situation taking place only in far away countries like Vietnam or Cambodia. It's occurring right here & now.

Everyone, in one way or another & to a greater or lesser degree, wants to experience happiness & well-being. Instead, there is considerable bewilderment & confusion as a result of neurotic patterns. For example, we may try to obtain happiness & well-being by depriving others of their wealth, their power, their freedom, even their lives. Thus, in our confusion, we bring immense suffering both to ourselves & to others, yet everyone involved still hopes to experience happiness & well-being. What an unfortunate situation beings are in!

For those in such a state of total confusion, the chance of achieving ultimate enlightenment or ultimate happiness is very slim. Therefore, as practitioners of the Dharma, we must realize the preciousness of our practice. We need to see what really causes the confusion of beings: doing the very opposite of what they should do.

We should recognize that, since we ourselves aren't going thru such intense confusion & bewilderment, we have the opportunity to develop enlightened abilities & to relieve the confusion & bewilderment of others. There's no reason whatever not to seize this opportunity & practice with greater & greater exertion.

With this commitment, the most important aspect of the practice consists of seeing the limitations beings suffer from & sincerely wishing to benefit all beings by removing these limitations & relieving their suffering.

This practice involves helping beings attain complete liberation from confusion & suffering, not only from the ongoing experience of confusion & suffering, but even from the very roots of such experiences. We develop the aspiration time & time again to uproot the confusion & suffering of all beings with a sincere, honest & genuine concern.

Repeatedly, we train ourselves to be continually mindful so we will not cause harm or confusion to others, to be continually mindful of the need for a compassionate attitude toward all beings, not only when we are making a specific effort to do so, but at all times.

If we do the necessary practices to develop compassion & loving-kindness on a daily basis, then we will surely be able to carry these qualities out of the practice situation & into our daily lives & to maintain a continual attitude of openness toward the limitations of various beings.

However, if we aren't engaged in such regular practices, a surface understanding of these teachings will not help at all. This is because even a slight negative reaction from someone would bring about a negative response from us, since we have not developed compassion & loving-kindness as an integral part of our being.

With this in mind, it's important to maintain the attitude of loving-kindness & compassion, as well as the desire to benefit all beings, in whatever practice we may be doing - the visualization of deities, the recitation of mantra, prostrations, or any other form of practice.

Even if it is only one prostration or one mantra, you can dedicate it totally for the benefit of all beings; you can give yourself totally toward that end. Eventually, such an attitude & aspiration will begin to come about effortlessly & spontaneously. As a result, loving-kindness, gentleness & compassion will be present all the time, like an undercurrent to whatever practice you do.

When that situation occurs & that experience becomes part of practice, the practice is fruitful: it becomes a worthy practice according to the path of the enlightened ones. On the other hand, you may do all sorts of different practices, but if there is no flavor of compassion or loving-kindness in them, they will not be beneficial either to you or to others.

The great Indian mahapandita Chandrakirti said that all scholars, according to tradition, first do their prostrations to a particular deity before they write about the teachings. In his case, however, he made his supplication to loving-kindness & compassion.

He explained it in this way: the Buddhas & bodhisattvas are the fruition, but without compassion, which is the cause, there can not be Buddhas or bodhisattvas. Thus, he did his prostrations to loving-kindness & compassion, because the possibility of attaining Buddhahood depends on the integration of these qualities; the practice of compassion gives birth to Buddhas & bodhisattvas.

At first, formal practice is very important. We might be able to actively practice loving-kindness & compassion for the liberation of all beings, but due to our limitations it will be very difficult to actually fulfill the needs of all beings. Therefore, we first need to work on self-development. When doing practice, we must first have the attitude that we are going to do it to benefit all sentient beings. Then we must actually do it for the benefit of beings.

Finally, we must dedicate the merit of the practice for the benefit of all beings. These are three very important steps which must take place in order to prevent practice from becoming a selfish pursuit intended only for our own liberation.

With this kind of attitude in practice, individual development will take place, including developing skill in benefiting beings as well as completely ceasing to harm beings. At this point, there may be times when we do cause harm to others, but if our sincere concern is to benefit others & it's simply because of our limitations & ignorance that we have caused harm, the harm has not been intentional. This is, in fact, quite an encouraging step, in spite of whatever limitations we still may have.

Training ourselves individually is very important, because in doing so, we begin to develop some of the qualities that are important for working with others. These qualities include appreciation, which is a source of great joy in working with others & patience, so that even if you have to do the same thing over & over until it works, you will not get tired of it. These important qualities can be developed through the practice & whatever other activities we may do.

Patience, in particular, can be developed through the practice of loving-kindness & compassion. As well as benefiting others, patience is also a key to our own sanity & the gradual attainment of enlightenment. The emotional upheaval of the 3 poisons takes place because of the lack of patience, which can occur in many different ways.

For example, suppose you have done favors or brought about good things for others, but without a positive attitude. As a result, certain negative emotional & neurotic patterns arise, such as feeling that you are not being shown the gratitude you deserve & becoming very impatient & frustrated.

Aggression is such a destructive force! If a person's mind is filled with aggression, many other unhappy & confusing situations may also occur. Sometimes, it gets to the point that they cannot even avoid falling asleep in an angry state. In that case, they wake up feeling worn out. The sleep hasn't been restful at all, having slept in a very unhealthy mental state in which the dreams may have been intensely negative, even nightmarish.

The antidote for aggression, whether while dreaming or while awake, is gentle loving-kindness & compassion. People sometimes have the feeling that by going to a solitary place where the environment is quiet, they will experience peace & happiness. But if your mind is in a state of aggression, no matter where your body is - no matter how secluded or solitary the place - turmoil will always be present.

For example, some animals are always by themselves, alone in the quiet of nature, yet they have a burning sense of aggression because they fear they will be killed & eaten or they think they are going to catch something themselves. Being in solitude isn't going to help them experience calmness & gentleness.

We must have the understanding that the most important thing to do is the practice; that we need to work toward the integration of what we hear & understand & sincerely put both into practice.

Of particular importance is the practice of Sending & Receiving: With the out breath, we send out all goodness & happiness, every possible goodness that we embody, toward all beings, so that everyone may experience goodness & happiness. With the incoming breath, we take in the negativities of all beings, all confusion, suffering & neurotic patterns.

Doing the Sending & Receiving practice in this way, both formally & informally, is very important. After doing the practice of loving-kindness & compassion in this way for a while, the practitioner then tries to experience the true nature of the mind with nothing to let go of, nothing to receive - just the awareness of the mind, beyond any reference point.

While doing formal meditation practice, training our minds with loving-kindness & compassion, we may be able to generate this attitude toward all sentient beings equally. However, in the daily course of our lives, when encountering different situations - which are sometimes more like confrontations - we may not be able to maintain the attitude of loving-kindness & compassion directed equally toward all beings.

At such times, mindfulness of the practice of patience & the application of certain techniques will help us to continue generating this attitude. The next part of our discussion is concerned with how to continue to generate loving-kindness & compassion, even under adverse circumstances.

Generally, it is quite easy to generate loving-kindness, compassion & tenderness when we are in a situation of well-being, when everything is running very smoothly. The difficulty arises when someone is causing us harm. For example, if one of our friends is being abused or harmed for any reason, whether because of their class, their profession, or whatever else, we feel a sense of irresistible anger or hatred toward the perpetrators. That is the time when we should have patience. That is the time when we can & must truly practice compassion. The antidote at this time is to have patience, to be able to generate patience & gentleness.

We project our neuroses in many ways. Sometimes we feel that we are in a position to defeat our opponents. In our pride or anger, we want to pay them back, "an eye for an eye," with a strong sense of revenge. Then, when we find ourselves incapable of defeating or causing harm to the other people or beings, we keep this hatred in our minds. We hold onto this hatred, thinking that at some future time we are definitely going to pay them back by causing harm to them.

As practitioners on the path of sanity, trying to incorporate sanity into our lives, the key to all these situations is patience. We can use patience, as well as tremendous compassion, for beings when they are caught up in situations in which they have such negative attitudes toward others. These beings always experience negative feelings about everything they do, be it concepts or actions or situations. It is an unfortunate situation for them. Therefore, having patience & at the same time generating compassion, is the right practice.

Because of the way we have been brought up, because of the way society works, there is a strong feeling that if somebody is angry at us it is legitimate to pay them back with anger & aggression. That is in the pattern of society. As a result, you feel that it's impossible not to get angry when someone gets angry at you.

The situation can be seen more clearly & simply, though, in a way that is more helpful to you & to others. For one thing, it is certain that this person, who is experiencing so much aggression & hatred, has not taken this position out of a sense of joy. Instead, he finds himself helpless in this situation, experiencing a great deal of confusion, sadness, discomfort & disturbance. He might even beat someone, such as his friends or his children. He might pound on things or throw things around. He truly desires happiness, well-being & comfort & he knows very well that this is not the way to achieve those ends. These actions do not represent his true being, but suddenly this upheaval of neurosis has taken hold of him. His real being would not do this: he would know that it is not good or healthy to do this. Even if he does not know it might bring all kinds of suffering & discomfort in the future, he certainly knows it does not pay in the present situation, but he still gets caught up in such emotions. When you are able to see this & to see from a state of openness, you should definitely be more able to extend kindness & compassion toward that person.

Second, if people are projecting their hatred & neurosis toward you, you can be certain this is a karmic situation you must experience. This is a result of what has been accumulating - the harm & confusion you have caused other beings, or perhaps this particular being, in the past. Due to this conditioning, these are experiences you must have. The people or beings are not angry & aggressive indiscriminately toward all beings; instead, this anger is being projected toward you in particular. There has to be something about you that creates or stimulates this reaction. There has to be something negative about you, so your attitude should be that this is a situation you have to go through because of your karmic accumulations. Having created such projections in the past, you now have to go through the samsaric patterns resulting from them & now that you have become the object of these negativities, further samsaric suffering could be inflicted upon other people in the future if you do not act appropriately.

Therefore, a tremendous sense of sympathy toward yourself, as well as others, is in order. You have sympathy for yourself because you are truly caught up in a situation of confusion & limitations. You must acknowledge that this is so & that therefore you are responsible for what is coming to you, so you go through it with a sense of patience. Understanding that in the past you have caused harm toward other beings, you see that the result is that you are again on the way to causing more harm & more confusion to others. This cycle must stop; it must not be carried on any further.

Third, the past negative accumulations you have collected are born in a body full of defects, full of weaknesses & limitations. Your body is subject to all kinds of vulnerability that you may view as harmful & as threats of harm. In reality, no one is actually threatening you. However, you may feel you are the subject of threats or suffering because of the limitations of your body. If you were not subject to the pain of your body, there would be nothing to cause such pain. By analogy, if you hold a piece of rotten meat in your hand, all sorts of worms & maggots will be attracted to it. The more you try to get rid of the worms, the more attracted they are. You may get very frustrated because you cannot get rid of the piece of rotten meat. But if you were able to throw away this meat, you would not have to go through the frustration. This is because no one is forcing you to hold onto the rotten meat.

Similarly, nobody is projecting aggression onto you. It is simply that your previous actions have put you in your present position where you are subject to this aggression. Had you obtained a better birth, had you not been so caught up in samsaric patterns, you would not have become the object of these limitations & suffering. It is you who is to be blamed, not for the sake of blaming, but because this is the rational explanation for your situation. When somebody says something to you, if you do not have the limitation of feeling pain, then you will not go through the projections & sense of defensiveness associated with that experience. Therefore, whatever problems result from your circumstances, you must go through the sufferings involved. Other beings are not to be blamed. Similarly, when other beings go through such projections & all the pain associated with them, you must have patience & extend kindness toward them & toward all beings. Another way to look at the situation is that one of the most efficient & powerful ways of attaining enlightenment is by practicing patience. If nobody is bothering you, there is no occasion to practice patience. Therefore, in Buddhist philosophy & teaching, it is said that even your enemies are to be seen as your most helpful friends. You should be most grateful to them because they have given you the best opportunity to practice patience. This is simply the instruction for the highest forms of practice, given in a clear & naked way so you may have a simple, direct relationship to them.

Shakyamuni Buddha attained the perfect state of enlightenment in a very short period of time. Having reached the state of complete enlightenment, his activity - which brought about all-pervasive benefit for beings - was also the practice of patience.

Life after life, time after time, with beings such as Devadatta trying to evoke anger, impatience & all other kinds of neurosis in him - & this was very challenging, even for him - he had the commitment to go beyond such reactions.

Thus, it's definitely true that our enemies are in fact our best friends. We should be grateful to them all the time because our "real friends" aren't able to create that kind of situation for us.

Therefore patience, compassion & love are the keys toward our attainment of enlightenment. When these situations are provided by our enemies, or by the beings that we find difficult to work with, we can see these beings as bodhisattva emanations coming to us to give the highest instructions. In a sense, this is the heart of the instruction, because it is definitely going to cause enlightenment. Since we are to work for the benefit & enlightenment of all beings, how better to repay our debt to beings than with gratitude, compassion & loving-kindness? This is all the more so because of the benefit these beings are causing: they are giving you the opportunity, not only to attain enlightenment, but also to benefit all beings. If you are afflicted by disease & a prominent physician comes, bringing the most modern & effective medical treatments, it would be incredibly foolish to try to get rid of him or to try to kill him. On the contrary, you should extend the warmest of welcomes toward him.

If you train your mind with this understanding, you will find you have reason to be compassionate & you can become truly gentle & kind. On the other hand, if you just think, "If I am faced with such situations, I will try to practice compassion at that time," it might be very difficult to actually do so. Now that you have seen how sane & important such training is, the healthiest approach is to become familiar with the methods involved & to train yourself with them again & again.

Another way of looking at it is that the particular being who is causing you harm or projecting hatred toward you may have been your parent in a former lifetime. Perhaps that being has been of great benefit to you in the past & will be in the future as well, but right now, in this lifetime, he or she is caught up in an insane situation.

Maybe you are in a better position than that person to see the situation openly & therefore, to benefit the person out of a sense of gratitude. You owe that person something from the past & you might also owe him or her something again in the future. You now have the opportunity to do something to repay that debt or, at the very least, not to cause any further stimulation of negative feelings.

The being who is bothering you actually can be viewed as your child, or as a friend whom you always loved & shared kindness with & who suddenly became completely insane as a result of some sort of intoxication or drug or sickness.

In this insanity, this person started pouring all of his negativities onto you. When there was a normal exchange of love, kindness & tenderness between you, the negativities were not there. But now, because the situation isn't something the person wanted to create, you would naturally feel a greater sense of love for them, because you know them so well & you're sympathetic.

He or she doesn't really mean to be rude, but is unfortunately caught up in this position. Your feeling for this person would therefore be very real & very sincere. There is no difference between that kind of feeling, which you would extend toward your friend or your child & the kind of feeling you might be able to develop for anyone who causes you harm or difficulty.

On a more advanced level, this situation can be seen as being, in essence, dreamlike. In reality, no one is causing anyone harm. There is actually no harm to be caused. It's like a reflection in the mirror. Therefore, it isn't going to cause any harm & there's no true intention of causing harm. This situation, which appears to involve the causing of harm & having to be subjected to it, is in its true nature unoriginated; it's unborn within the nature of the situation.

On this more ultimate level, it can be seen that everything exists only in passing. Things that appear only do so moment by moment & nothing is truly fixed, or substantial, or creating a real obstacle.

It's important to practice patience thru the understanding of impermanence, along with the fact that there's a definite upheaval of our own neuroses. For example, you may have the experience of wanting to cause harm to, or even kill, certain beings.

At such times, perhaps you can realize how stupid it is to get into that neurotic state of mind. Why go thru all the effort of such emotions when it's already definite that beings are going to die anyway, whether or not you make the extra effort of wanting to kill them.

It's ridiculous & very stupid to see yourself as living a long life & another person as about to die; it's a very confused projection. In fact, you're going thru all kinds of suffering & the other person is going thru all kinds of confusion.

Why put your effort into creating even more harm when beings already are going thru constant harm, suffering & confusion?

Instead, when the upheaval of discursive thoughts arises in your mind (such as wanting to harm beings), a different series of thoughts will be more beneficial.

First, realize that this being is going thru all kinds of suffering & confusion.

Second, understand that whatever anger or aggression this being has projected will cause him or her to go thru further sufferings. How could you add to that? To strengthen your attitude that no more harm should be inflicted, you should work on developing the attitude of patience, together with the realization that this being is helping you to practice. Therefore, you should feel grateful to this person & try to help them.

The most essential & primary point in the mahayana approach is that, by entering the Buddha's path, we have made a courageous commitment by promising to work for the benefit of all beings & to reduce the harm we cause to them. Not only have we made the commitment to benefit all sentient beings, but we have even promised that we will get to the point where we will cause no more harm to beings at all.

We must be inwardly sincere in this, honestly trusting in our ability & believing it's possible to go thru such development. We must be honest with ourselves in believing that we're going to do something, in understanding that this commitment is sane & healthy & that we're going to live up to it. Therefore, we take on the commitment with a vow.

With that commitment, we have to maintain a certain standard of dignity. We have to live up to it for the sake of so many friends who have done the same thing, or who are now trying to do so.

Having taken these vows & promised to live up to the goal of a sane, wholesome & dignified life & to benefit all, we must try to support our friends & never disgrace them in any way. If we reject even one person or one being, it would be a disgrace - a great defeat to our friends as well as to ourselves.

This is because we have taken it upon ourselves to work on behalf of all sentient beings. We have committed ourselves by saying that we're going to work for their benefit, so we must continually remind ourselves of the sincere commitment we have taken upon ourselves - of the kindness that this commitment requires & of how sincerely we must respect it.

Therefore, when someone seems to be your enemy, maybe you should have this attitude: having taken on this commitment to benefit all beings, this particular person should be the foremost of your disciples, the foremost of the beings you should help. It's as if you have an assemblage of disciples & the weaker ones must be given more attention. In the same way, sentient beings are going thru all kinds of situations, but this particular being must be attended to first.

Even if we can't keep all of these different points in our minds at once, at least we can be mindful of just one of them. We can remind ourselves to be mindful, not just in a formal context, but by declaring it throughout our daily lives. It's possible to have patience & it's possible not to pay back harmful things to others.

It's worth repeating that if you don't actively maintain this mindfulness, it's just empty words to say, "If someone does something to me, then I'll have compassion at that time."

In that case, it will be very difficult, so it's most important to have patience toward all other beings & to accept that all beings are your friends. Your enemies can indeed be your friends & the practice of patience is a very compassionate practice whether directed toward others or toward yourself.

Thus, in practicing the Dharma, there's a tremendous need to develop kindness & compassion thru the practice of patience. It isn't always pleasant or easy to do this, so the practice of patience itself requires patience!

Sometimes it can be terribly disappointing because it's so different from what we are used to. It doesn't fit with the demands made upon us by the society we live in, nor does it fit with the concepts & attitudes of the people around us.

For example, having to sit for hours just listening to someone (such as when receiving teachings) isn't necessarily very entertaining. Therefore, we need to develop patience & compassion toward ourselves in this situation.

Meditation practice isn't always blissful, yet we need to do it, so we need to be compassionate & patient toward ourselves while practicing. If you're trying to work with various situations & people from the point of view of the practice, people will not always understand what you're doing & often you'll not be able to communicate it clearly to them, which can also be quite difficult & disappointing.

There can be the feeling of loneliness as well, of being very much on your own in the practice. In all these situations, patience is very important. It isn't very easy to be compassionate & patient toward yourself, as you would be toward a person who is having major surgery - someone who is very sick & going thru all kinds of pain.

Yet you might be able to happily & willingly go thru a surgical operation despite the pain, because you know where it's going to lead. Knowing why you're going thru this extra pain, when you had already experienced a great deal of pain, you would be patient enough to go thru with it, no matter which part of your body had to be opened up.

In the teachings, it is said that we have to be warriors, victorious warriors. We must declare that we are victorious warriors - & we definitely are, we must be. Someone who has killed thousands of people may claim to be very brave & victorious, but to what avail? Still this person claims to be a brave & victorious warrior. Samsara is vast & filled with beings caught up in confusion & selfish pursuits & yet this is not discouraging for a real practitioner. He or she is able to say that even if every situation they face is a barrier in their path, nonetheless, they will continue to work for the benefit of beings. Such a stance is not stupid; it is a very courageous & warrior-like position in which we can be victorious, both inwardly & in relation to others. Therefore, the practice of patience is essential.

Doing the practice of the Dharma is a virtuous action & through it, virtuous attitudes are being practiced. If you have the goal of being born into a noble family in your future life, surrounded by wealth & luxury & by many beautiful forms, it's possible that this aim might be fulfilled because of the effect of the practice.

But one moment of aggression could completely throw you off balance & destroy whatever accumulation you have made. From this point of view, it's also very important to practice compassion & patience. Practicing patience means practicing compassion & loving-kindness toward all beings. If you're practicing compassion & loving kindness toward beings, there's no need for you to aspire to be born in a noble or influential family.

You'll simply be born into that situation & as a result, you'll be able to benefit beings. It's like the continuation of a greater & greater project. This is the situation with an incarnate bodhisattva who is born into a beautiful home in a beautiful setting: it doesn't happen out of attachment. An incarnate bodhisattva who wants to be born into a particular situation or a particular family is just born there. It's like the shade of a huge tree, which is just naturally there. There is no need to put any extra work into creating the shade.

Whatever viewpoint you take on the practice of loving-kindness & compassion, the practice of patience is most important. There isn't any doubt about it. The future buddha, Maitreya Buddha, will be born in a unique form. He will be tall & handsome, uniquely beautiful, with everyone looking up to him & asking, "Why?, How?" The truth of the matter is that he'll be born in such a human form out of kindness. Because of the unique way he will appear, he'll be able to benefit many human beings & his appearance will indeed be due to his love & kindness.

During this particular time in which we have been born, with the situations we experience right now in the world, there is an immense need for the practice of compassion & loving-kindness. A great deal of destruction & confusion is taking place everywhere in the name of living beings, which indicates a lack of sanity, of patience & of kindness & compassion. It also reminds us every moment that as practitioners of the Dharma we have to be very sincere. Every day we get reminders from so many different things: from daily news stories & from the criticism, blasphemy, emotional turmoil, paranoia & frustration going on around us.

As an analogy, it's said that people who are blind will never be able to appreciate the beauty of form - of the distinction between different things. This is really a pity. We empathize with them & generate compassion toward them because they're in such an unfortunate situation. Similarly, people who are blind to the right view are also in an unfortunate situation & deserve our compassion.

They cause more harm to themselves than to other people, because they don't understand the nature of their wrong view or the way in which their words & attitudes are misinformed & their actions misguided. Unfortunately, such beings often think the solution is another wrong view, another confrontation, or more violence. They might insist that you're being cowardly if you say that fighting back is no solution.

Such things happen in politics & many other worldly situations all the time. As practitioners of the Dharma & followers of the Buddha's path, developing the attitude that we have been talking about toward our practice & ourselves - toward each other & toward all sentient beings - is most important at all times.

To conclude this teaching, it's appropriate to take the attitude of dedicating the merit of this discussion on loving-kindness & compassion & on the Sending & Receiving practice. In addition, all meritorious accumulations everyone has made from beginningless time, we dedicate to all beings, particularly for the benefit of those beings who are caught up in war & hatred. May these beings awaken from such a situation of insanity. May the benefit of our dedication extend to all beings in the six realms, that they may experience total liberation.

Taken from a transcript of a teaching given by Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche at Karma Triyana Dharmachakra. The transcript is available in its entirety from Namse Bangdzo Bookstore.
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