You never run out of kindness. When you're kind to yourself & others, your own capacity to love can only grow.

Wherever there is a human being there's an opportunity for kindness.

Seneca

Harold Kushner so beautifully says in his book Living a Life That Matters that the reassurance that his life has mattered & wasn't lived in vain comes from how he lived his life & what he gave to others.

"I find it in the work I have done, the acts of kindness I have performed, the love I have given & the love I have received, the people who will smile when they remember me & the children & grandchildren through whom my name & memory will be perpetuated."

After years of talking with people who were dying, he tells us that people aren't afraid of dying; they're afraid they haven't lived. Were they as loving & kind as they could've been? How will their family remember them?

A simple act of kindness is within the spirit of all of us. No matter how you've lived your life there's kindness within you, because you are born kind & loving. It's your natural state & the more you awaken to it, the more in harmony you're with yourself & others & the more peaceful life is.

We asked MJ Ryan, compiling editor of the best selling book Random Acts of Kindness & author of books on Gratitude (Attitudes of Gratitude) & Generosity (The Giving Heart), what's the connection between each of these qualities?

She describes Gratitude as the 'in-breath.' As you live life present to all you have, you're able to fill up & be aware of a deep sense of abundance. Just because you receive something doesn't mean you will necessarily feel abundance.

It only occurs when you're consciously present to all that you have. That's why simply starting your day with conscious thoughts of gratitude fills you up, creating a natural high.

It's from this sense of abundance, this fullness, that you're able to express your generosity with acts of kindness. That's the 'out-breath,' & it's so automatic it just pours out of you.

This feeling of abundance overflows & touches each & every person you come in contact with. But the key is this:

You must feel it first. You must be loving, forgiving, kind & compassionate toward yourself, or you'll not sense abundance. You will feel depletion & be operating out of obligation, not true kindness.

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you lived-that is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kindness is a Peaceful Way as it expands your own capacity to love with each & every act of kindness shown. Imagine, if you will, every unkind word you've said in your life as well as all those others have said.

Now imagine a world where the unkind words have been replaced with kind words & kind acts. What would the world be like?

Our vision of such a world would include relationships based on mutual love & respect; all children being nurtured & encouraged to reach their full potential; ready access to bountiful harvests & life-saving medical treatment for all people; profound respect for the needs of all cultures & the wishes they've had for their lives, families & communities; all of us living in harmonious cooperation.

Why? Because when we're all steeped in loving kindness, we'll have it no other way.

These positive qualities should be like the life force within us, like the mind in a living being. A body without a mind, or a life force, wouldn't be able to perform actions like a real human being. Instead, it would be only an empty reflection or effigy. In the same way, spiritual practice without the core practice of loving-kindness & compassion could only be a parody of genuine spirituality.

Unenlightened beings suffer continuously from the neuroses of attachment, aggression & ignorance. These emotional upheavals develop because of a lack of compassion, kindness & open concern for the well-being of others. Lacking such positive attitudes & feelings, we continually indulge ourselves, developing these three mental poisons further & thus bring added suffering & confusion to ourselves & others alike.

Conversely, a person who has fully integrated loving-kindness & compassion has transcended the 3 poisons. For such a kind, gentle & compassionate person, the upheaval of aggression has ceased. Gentleness & compassion can't coexist w/aggression & hatred toward others.

Therefore, in treading on the Buddhist path toward the experience of enlightenment, the essential basis of development for both beginners & advanced practitioners is the practice of loving-kindness & compassion.

Without the basic ground of the qualities of loving-kindness & compassion, the Vajrayana wouldn't exist. It simply wouldn't make any sense without a genuine practice & ongoing experience of loving-kindness & compassion towards all beings. In addition, the bodhisattva vow couldn't be taken without a sincere commitment to generate such an attitude.

The enlightened bodhisattva attitude embodies the complete letting go of oneself for the benefit & enlightenment of all sentient beings, without exception. Without this attitude, therefore, there wouldn't be much use in taking the vow. It would be meaningless - just another label, a label that is as laughable as a blind man claiming to have good vision. Such a person would be ridiculed, or else pitied for his stupidity.

Therefore, the bodhisattva vow is to be taken with a sincere concern for the benefit of all sentient beings. Having taken the vow & developed loving-kindness & compassion, the 3 mental poisons are transcended because there's no room for aggression & hatred when the mind is filled with these qualities.

With the realization of the importance of these two supreme qualities & the desire to benefit all beings, great clarity & understanding develop. That clarity & understanding is itself the transcendence of ignorance, attachment & passion - all of which arise because of the insatiable thirst for selfish attainment & success. Whoever has given priority to benefiting all beings is able gradually to let go of such negative patterns.

For all these reasons, a sincere & proper understanding of loving-kindness & compassion is very important. Having that understanding & an appreciation of the need to integrate these qualities into daily practice, you'll experience frequent moments of leisure & calmness when you can take advantage, as a beginner, of the opportunity to practice loving-kindness & compassion.

In this way, the gradual integration of these qualities comes about, so that in times of frustration, fear & aggression, you are able to transform the situation.

On the other hand, if we do not realize the practice of loving-kindness & compassion, then when the need arises - for example, when the experience of fear or aggression suddenly occurs - it'll be very difficult to achieve a state of gentleness & compassion because of the intensity of our habitual mental patterns.

Trying to experience a state of gentleness in those circumstances might even increase the frustration & confusion, due to the intensity of the upheaval.

Through the noble practice of loving-kindness & compassion, we can develop a very open relationship toward all beings. Such a relationship is one of respect, based on the idea that no matter what disparities may exist between different categories of beings, such as human beings, animals, or whatever, they all have equal capacities.

Thus the practitioner tries to develop equal concern for them all. The mere sight of any living being - whether tiny or huge, whether our own kind or a different species - will arouse the feeling of gentleness & kindness. This is a very powerful feeling; in fact, it's the gateway to the experience of the perfect state of enlightenment.

Having developed such kindness, gentleness & openness of mind toward all beings, it's possible to genuinely feel the needs of others. A very true & honest concern for beings develops. Then, if at times a certain being projects aggression or hatred, the gentleness & kindness we have developed will help us feel & express an even stronger sense of compassion & gentleness.

This is due to the understanding that in the past we have been caught up in the experience of samsara precisely because of the lack of such qualities of gentleness & loving-kindness.

In addition, developing further aggression & ignorance in the present is only going to cause further suffering & entrapment in cyclic existence. If we can't have a loving, kind & compassionate attitude toward all beings, if we can't experience tenderness & gentleness toward all beings, there is no purpose in life.

Further, there's no purpose in being connected with the Dharma.

The very purpose of the Dharma is to develop & integrate the practice of loving kindness & compassion. In doing so, we not only benefit ourselves, but others at the same time. Practicing & integrating these qualities brings about the possibility of the enlightening situation of openness & an experience of ongoing happiness within this lifetime; thus, there is a tremendous need to develop these qualities.

People experience depression, confusion & frustration because they make all kinds of categorizations. When we are with certain beings who have greater success than we do, a feeling of inferiority can arise. Evaluating things from this mundane point of view can give rise to a sense of jealousy, accompanied by a desire to inflict harm. Envy can grow in our minds, causing all kinds of frustration & confusion.

Another situation can arise when everyone in a particular society belongs to the same class & is on an equal level: this can give rise to feelings of competition, of wanting to dominate others or to be better than others. Such wishes usually result in failure & once again we are overcome by anger, frustration, depression & hatred & all kinds of neurotic projections take place.

Then there are other times when we are with people & feel they are completely incapable, or at least that they are less capable than we are. In comparing ourselves with these beings, we feel they do not have this or that ability; we feel they are somehow lacking. This gives rise to feelings of superiority & then there is the sense of wanting to neglect or overlook such people.

If we have integrated loving-kindness & compassion, no matter what type of beings we are with & must adjust to, a sense of joyfulness & happiness will be present. There will be openness & communication & a sense of well-being toward other people. Other people can feel this & relate to us accordingly.

In the same way, if we are in a situation where everyone is basically equal, a feeling of support for each other will grow, along with the wish that these people will become more successful, more comfortable & happier in their life situations & relationships. Thus we create a situation of openness & communication & we are able to concern ourselves with benefiting others who are less capable by helping, supporting & encouraging them.

With that kind of relationship, everyone feels respected & trusted & can rejoice in each others' progress. There is an experience of openness, happiness & gentleness in all kinds of relationships, such as within families, between husband & wife or parents & children, & among relatives & friends. All kinds of relationships will have these positive possibilities.

In contrast, the most destructive thing in our lives, the perpetual experience of great suffering, is brought about by our own egocentric clinging to selfish & insatiable pursuits. As long as this situation exists in our lives, it's inseparable from aggression. Clinging to ourselves & devoting all efforts to ourselves continually gives rise to aggression & perpetuates samsara's endless suffering.

The transcendence of this suffering is possible only through the antidote of loving-kindness & compassion. Without these qualities, all kinds of destructive situations & suffering come about, because we have tremendous expectations.

For example, we have expectations that we should be respected, arising from the selfish feeling that we are somehow the greatest person & therefore, should be looked up to. We also have expectations that we should not be harmed in any way.

We also have very unrealistic attitudes about others living up to our expectations. When these are not met, trouble develops between husband & wife, among relatives & between friends. Each of us believes that our wishes, our needs & our notions of what is good must be respected by everyone else.

Even though we may talk a lot about loving-kindness, inside we are still going through the same difficulties & experiencing the same suffering. If we really have a sincere experience of loving kindness & compassion toward others, we no longer need to say things like, "I have to work on my anger," "I have to work on my aggression," or "I have to work on my egotism.

The feeling of loving-kindness itself liberates our egocentric notions & the other neurotic patterns that arise.

It should be very clear that the experience of relative & ultimate happiness within this lifetime, as well as in future lifetimes, is dependent upon our practice & integration of loving-kindness & compassion now. A total dedication to the benefit of others is essential.

This precious human birth isn't obtained by chance, nor will it be obtained by chance in the future. Right now we are in the fortunate situation of being able to live happily in this life & to accumulate the seeds of future happiness. Now is the time when loving-kindness & compassion can be developed, progressively leading to more & more benefit to more & more beings.

Such a possibility depends on our practice right now, within this particular lifetime. If we have no practice of loving-kindness & compassion, then even if we had the opportunity to teach a gathering of people, we might feel tremendous aggression toward that group.

Such feelings of opposition or unfriendliness would lead to the desire to control others, to have power over them, which is the cause of harm & destruction. We can clearly see around us these days how such attitudes bring tremendous harm to us & to others & bring about many hopeless situations.

Only the sincere development of loving-kindness & compassion can prevent or transform such situations. It enables others to live respectable & dignified lives, bringing them, as well as us, both relative & ultimate happiness.

In thinking